Neckwear
by DeadlyFandoms
Summary: A short two-part 'series' that takes a closer look at Mary and Bert's choice of neckwear...and there's more meaning than you might think! Just two romantic and silly little one-shots - both set before the movie. (Mary Poppins and Bert romance) [COMPLETE]
1. Chapter 1 - The Ascot

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know, I one-shot when I have three other ongoing stories! I'm terrible! But, as the description says, this is part one of what will only be a two-part story, and they're nice and light-hearted, so nothing to rip my hair out over.**

 **I did intend for this to be a drabble, but it came out at around 1,200 words...oh well!**

 **Anyway, I really hope you enjoy it!**

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 **Neckwear  
Chapter one - The Ascot**

An Ascot. Bert had never been too fond of that particular neckwear himself, he always saw it as a rather unnecessary piece of fabric that was only worn by those who had more money than sense and viewed the little scrap of silk as a way to portray this to the rest of the world. In Bert's mind, the item seemed to fulfil little purpose, so whenever he saw someone wearing one, he always assumed it was simply because they _could_ , because they had that money to spare and it mattered not to them where it got spent. Of course, his thoughts were never malicious or judgemental – oh no – Bert would never judge a person solely on outward appearances, it just so happened that expensive and seemingly unfulfilling neckwear just wasn't his cup of tea. A scarf in the winter or a tie with a smart suit, now _those_ he could understand, but the noble ascot really wasn't for him.  
Of course, Bert didn't walk around with overly strong opinions on the neckwear in question, in fact, he hardly ever gave it any thought; but the fleeting emotions that he did have are vital to this tale.

You see, as a screever, Bert always found himself in need of a rag of some kind; he often needed to smooth out the edges of his latest masterpiece and could always be found with colourful smudges gracing his knees or forehead – something that Mary Poppins would always (light heartedly) scold him for. Mary Poppins… _that's_ where this story truly begins.  
They were in love, you see, heavily so, and when she was between jobs or he was free on one of her days off, they would take strolls through the park, hand-in-hand and would lose themselves in their affections. When out of sight, Bert would always lean down to peck her cheek and she would blush ferociously (but never did anything to reprimand him for his public acts). Eventually, though, as the relationship grew older and their inhibitions slowly washed away like chalk on a wet pavement, their ways of showing affection became bolder.

On one rainy day in London, they had retreated to his flat in order to escape the ravenous downpour, and whilst they had gone there for the sole intention of warming up and drinking tea, they found themselves wrapped in a solid embrace – limbs tangled – and lips pressed together firmly in fiery, languid kisses. Now, nothing went further than it should have, mind you, but, it's fair to say that the pair certainly got carried away, for the next morning, Bert met with the chimney sweeps, only to find them snickering only ten minutes after his arrival. He'd asked them several times what was so funny, but it wasn't until the end of the day – when the secrecy of the teasing had grown dull – that one of the sweeps asked Bert if he'd had a nice time with Mary Poppins the day before. The man had barely spluttered out the sentence before retreating behind the nearest chimney stack to release his laughter.  
The incident had eaten away at Bert for his entire journey home, but when he arrived at his flat, he took several sharp paces towards the mirror and discovered (almost with horror) the root of the mockery: on his neck lay a small purple bruise, the telltale mark of his evening of passion with the great Mary Poppins.

His initial reaction was to groan with frustration and he instantly felt his cheeks set ablaze with embarrassment; naturally the sweeps knew about his relationship with Mary, the man adored her, for goodness sake, and he'd barely been able to stop himself from bellowing it from the rooftops when the whole thing became official. But the fact that their passion had been so obvious – worn almost like a symbol of narcissism on his neck, like the mane of a lion – and that the sweeps were probably envisioning the whole thing…well, it hit something rather personal. Still, after some time, Bert couldn't help but laugh at it all, he had always been good at seeing the lighter side of things and as much as Mary Poppins would probably disagree, he had to admit that the whole thing was rather comical – ridiculous even!  
Still, he knew that he had to do something about it, whilst the sweeps were his closest friends, he didn't want to constantly remind them of his private life (although, such chivalry was more for Mary's sake than his own) and the woman in question would be mortified if she were to meet with him again and see the mark on his neck…even though she was the one who'd left it there. With a quick burst of inspiration, he took his dusty screever bandana from his pocket and tied it around his neck…in the way that one would tie an ascot. He _had_ to chuckle at the strange turn of events, but after admiring the new accessory in the mirror, Bert had to admit that it seemed to do more than just cover up his gifted love bites, it actually looked quite good on him. Still, it would only be there for a couple of days, until his neck was clean and then he'd have to worry no longer.

But if only life were that simple. The sweeps knew instantly why Bert had invested in some new neckwear, so the teasing didn't cease immediately – though they all knew it was all good fun. He'd seen Mary that day too – along with her charges – and she had turned positively crimson when he'd explained the motives behind his latest fashion choice (in private, of course). But, once she'd gotten over the shock of it all, she gave him a fake and playful apology – accompanied by a sly look that told him the ascot may have to stick around for longer than he'd anticipated. And he was right, for only a week or so later, a new mark appeared on his neck and the ascot returned.  
The sweeps – naturally – hadn't been able to control their laughter at the reappearance of the mucky fabric (although Bert could hardly blame them) and as for Mary, well, as prim, proper and priggish as she appeared on the outside, on the inside she was an absolute spitfire and she secretly loved to torture him with her ministrations…and Bert never really minded.

The whole thing became quite a regular occurrence, the ascot would disappear and reappear almost like clockwork and the sweeps could always tell when Bert had had some alone time with the woman he was courting. Eventually, Bert gave up on the novelty of it all and just decided to let the ascot accompany all of his outfits, after all, it came in rather handy for removing unwanted chalk or soot stains, and besides, it looked quite good on him. No, the ascot can stay, he had thought to himself. And so it was.

However, there was one occasion when one of the sweeps and turned to Bert and asked if he'd ever gotten his own back on Mary and left a few marks of his own on her; and, with a devilish grin, Bert turned to the young man and made it quite clear that the high collars on Mary Poppins' dresses covered more than just her porcelain skin.

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 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, there you go! I really enjoyed writing that so I hope you enjoyed reading it too! Hopefully I'll be able to post the other part very soon!**

 **Fun fact: This chapter was actually inspired by a friend of mine who always comes to uni lectures and keeps his scarf on in order to hide his love bites! :'D**

 **See you soon! xxx**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Scarf

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: So, I really hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, as I said, these really are just two silly little ideas that I came up with and just had to write down. Anyway, here's there concluding chapter, so I hope you all enjoy it!**

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 **Neckwear  
Chapter Two - The Scarf**

Mary Poppins had often wondered what _exactly_ was the function of a crochet scarf? Okay, she knew it served the exact same purpose as any other scarf in theory, but in practice, she couldn't help but feel a little suspicious in regards to the garment…okay, _that_ sounds a bit ridiculous, but in essence it was true; whilst Mary had no complaints against the art of crocheting (something that she was quite skilled at) she thought that a scarf was perhaps a step too far. For starters, the technique of assembling the item meant that it was rather thin, so certainly not something one could wear during winter's harshest chills, not something that could keep one warm…and it had holes in it, would it really provide efficient protection against England's wind chill? She thought not. And yet she _always_ wore one when she was travelling, and outside of the more serious winters, her pale pink crocheted scarf was her accessory of choice. But, as always seemed to be the case with Mary Poppins, everything had a story behind it, and even though she'd never admit it, this one was far more sentimental than one would ever expect.

You see, there was once a time when Mary Poppins didn't own a scarf (shocking as that may seem since she always seemed to be prepared for anything), but one could never be found in her carpet bag; and although she never said it out loud, it could get devilishly cold when flying across the country…a scarf would've helped, yet she never found the time to make or acquire one. This meant that there were many occasions – particularly in London – where Mary had to spend the winters without said garment, and although she would always do her best to cover it up, she would often shiver quite profusely. Of course, no one ever noticed this…except for one person. Bert. They were strolling through the park one December morning on one of her days off when the winds (luckily, not the winds Mary needed to worry about) began to pick up rather fiercely; Bert had been quite content, with the hand that wasn't entwined with Mary's, he clutched at his hat and was thankful for the presence of his woolly scarf around his neck. When the gust had died down, he turned to his companion (although, she was far more than that) with the intention of making some joke about it all; but the unspoken words melted away from his lips when he saw a single fierce shiver spasm through her frame.

Of course, as she was wont to do, Mary Poppins had insisted that she was fine, that it was just a single shiver – one of the ones that come across you on occasions for no apparent reason – but Bert didn't believe any of it and his suspicions were only confirmed when he saw he shiver several more times that day. He told her that she needed to buy a scarf, but Mary was far too modest and said that she needn't bother with such a thing, besides; within a few months it would be far too hot to wear a scarf…in spite of England's frustrating tendency to rain abundantly. They ended up having quite an in-depth discussion about the whole thing, but it dissolved after a while and they had both decided that they didn't want to have their precious time together interrupted by some ridiculous debate about a scarf. Although, in his mind, Bert was still adamantly insisting that she needed one and if he'd had the money, he would've waltzed right into the nearest shop and bought her one, but he couldn't afford that…luckily, he had a plan – one that he made sure to keep to himself.

So, time rolled on and Mary Poppins still remained thoroughly scarf-less (if such a term exists), but, on Christmas day, that very same month, Mary had quite the surprise. Since they were courting, she and Bert had decided that they would spend the day together; the whole thing was a marvellous and humble affair – very simple, just the way they both liked it – but, when it was time for them to exchange presents, Bert had insisted on him going first. Sheepishly, he had pulled out a small package from under the tree and offered up to Mary – who was blushing slightly at the whole thing, but it was nothing compared to the blush she wore when she opened it. Inside she found a scarf. Crocheted. It was made of some very fine material – the loveliest dusky pink and peach colours all lying together harmoniously within the garment. And whilst she was taken aback with awe and gratitude, Mary _did_ manage to raise a questioning eyebrow at her suitor and he bashfully explained that he had made it himself. And whilst he thought that a crocheted scarf may not be the warmest, it would at least satisfy Mary's distaste of having a heavy scarf around her neck whilst also providing her with some degree of warmth; also, the pale shades seemed to perfectly compliment her rosy cheeks – although, he added that lasts part rather quietly.

Mary Poppins really was overcome with elation, it was one of the sweetest and most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for her, she could tell that he had spent so much time making the scarf and every single second had been spent with her in mind; it really was a wonderful present…and Bert was correct in his analysis of the scarf, it wasn't too heavy, but would certainly be an asset to her wardrobe…and she had to admit that it was quite a pretty garment – it would certainly contrast well with her sensible black coat. But, all of a sudden, the scarf meant so much to her, and suddenly, the effectiveness of it was irrelevant, but she knew that was because not only had it been made for her, but it had been made by the man she loved.

She thanked him with a tender kiss and Mary Poppins was no longer found without a scarf.

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 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: I really hope you all enjoyed that!**

 **Feel free to check out some of my other Mary Poppins stories and hopefully I'll see you all soon! xxx**


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